Self Esteem - What Drives It?
Every day we look at the news, the newspapers, the tabloid programs that come on and we are so curious about what’s going on in them that we forget that all this bad news we seem to think is definitive of the world, is but 1% of the real world. Most of the world is generally happy actually, and don’t suffer from negative situations you find on the news. It’s not watching the news that makes it bad, it’s how you interpret the information. Although the news, which is rarely anything positive, is the worst culprit of dropping self esteem (over time) it is just one player in the game.
The news, television commercials, and the media in general, to include movies, sitcoms, and other forms of entertainment, all seem relatively harmless- entertainment, informative, and enlightening, but it is the subtly that causes the problems. Many people derive most of their self esteem to awareness of one form or another.
They live in a comparative environment that says whatever you see as beautiful, perfect, and charming, seemingly true, factual and so on, is reality. In this reality which often externally is designed to appeal to you not to be real, a sort of vacation from imperfection really, is so desired that we get sucked in and somewhere along the lines we stop monitoring our reality. Our desires somehow become definitive of a comparison between dream and reality. “If I don’t look this way, have this many friends, and so on… I am somehow flawed” becomes the script. We often mistake what boundaries reality really has.
For example, watching shows like friends, 90210, and the like, we see that just about everyone on the screen seems to effortlessly look absolutely perfect. This is flawed because they look perfect because there are 5 makeup artists doing their make up, post production teams removing flaws, even pimples! Lighting is an effect on this, and there is always someone watching and changing things to fit the “best side” “best way to stand” and so on.
The problem is that they make it look so natural that people think this is reality. It is reality in our dreams, in that perfect place that, I’m sorry, you will never actually see. The bridge between reality and manufactured perfection dissolves and although we know it’s not real, we subconsciously start to believe that it is, at least when compared to our life. Many people don’t know what true happiness feels like and so they grab the script from the media, the hype, the advertisements they see and so on.
When you compare your life to these icons, these images, and other peoples ideal of the perfect world (which doesn’t exist), you find yourself lost or at the very least feeling inadequate! Without this negative programming self esteem would be a whole other thing to most people. The irony is the more depressed you get the more you watch these shows, read these magazines, and compare yourself to them- it’s a downward spiral that many people are in.
It is open faced subliminal programming that although seems devious when put that way, isn’t meant to be that way. Given the advertisers of products often are going for this effect so you’ll be swayed to buy their product, even if you don’t need or want or can’t afford it. Television shows however are just trying to entertain you so you watch and ironically so you’ll stick around for commercials. In some ways the commercials devious nature to seduce and trick you, has carried over to television and other media by proxy of the two playing off one another. Commercial television plays off those desires created in the shows and by doing so they bring reality to those concepts. “Here’s a cream that will make you feel young again like that girl on 90210 (whom happens to be in the commercial)” see how it works?
The pharmaceutical companies are banking on this effect and now people find themselves not only depressed, but chemically altered where perceptions change even more! You could say that your swimming in mud, but there is a way to enjoy your swim without getting dirty. I’ll go into this further down, but let me unearth the problem even further.
The true nature of healing, growing, and unwinding the yarn so you can breathe- is awareness. I’ll give you one clue- It all boils down to your internal dialogue, and thus there is the solution as well. I’m going to show you how to use the same technology to unwind the bad programming and install the right kind, the kind you would see if you were never infected.
If you watch the news on a regular basis you may succumb to a reality that is far from true reality. A reality that the world is in this state of chaos and depression. The pharmaceutical companies are trying very hard to convince you that your depressed to sell you one pill after another, but the reality is this is a cop out, an easy way out that people are always looking for. The reality is that the answer is very simple, it’s not going to be found out there, it’s going to be found inside, at the core of your true self.
Keep in mind that although media may be one contributing factor it is just a power source. When your friends find themselves lost they will reinforce the ideals that made you feel lost. There is always a point where you were on the fence, but someone, usually someone you trusted, pushed you over, not even meaning any harm. Maybe a girlfriend told you that you’d look just like so and so if you did your make up this way and so on.
The interaction with your external world, be it friends, media, your boss, other peoples opinions, or anything that feeds information directly to you, creates this second self, this social mask you wear. It’s a mask because it doesn’t so much change your core of being; it just buries it when others are around. You try to feel accepted, wanted, loved, appreciated, and so on, and sometimes this requires you to pretend to be something your not. When you’re alone the world changes back to your core and you put the mask away almost instantly. The problem is people don’t know how much the mask is actually suffocating them, how it’s actually pushing people away, because when your not true to your core you are miserable, and it shows.
Most people have buried their true core beneath this masked personality that they show the world. This mask is usually designed as a way to protect your true self from being vulnerable but somewhere along the way this mask starts to suffocate us instead. We don’t often take it off, even when we’re alone (thanks to the internet making being truly alone very rare). This mask becomes fused so closely with our core self that we can no longer tell which one is real, so we turn to the outside world to tell us which one it is that is the true self. Of course when we realize that the core self that we know and love is in conflict with how the outside world seems to be perceiving things, we withdraw like a turtle, walking slowly through life hiding behind our security blanket- the social mask.
We find ourselves living in “the matrix” created by our own mind. We stop taking responsibility for our lives being of our own making often so others don’t see us as a bad person, but it backfires. When your living this lie not being you, you are weaving a web of deceit that is both exhausting, impossible to keep up with, and uncomfortable, which all lead to depression.
Unfortunately the outside world is build from the media, and we’re being lied to on a consistent basis to sell magazines, to get you to watch certain channels, and to sell products. If telling the truth sold merchandise they would do it but the reality is, most of the things we buy are based on lies and we buy them thinking they will solve the unhappiness we feel inside- but they don’t do they. They temporarily give us a feeling of security, false security, but then were back out there buying more to try again, and again, and again. This is called “retail therapy”.
The only reason they have you under this spell is because you’ve lost sight of the real truth of life, the reality of your world. In many ways that movie the matrix rings true. People are stuck in this trance and have no idea they are being programmed and lead only by their beliefs- beliefs created by marketers of products. They often run into people who tell them how life really is, those confident individuals who’ve “unplugged” and got rid of the mask, but when they try to take their advice and “loosen up” they run into road blocks they’re not ready for- which pushes them back to the mask.
Escape from the planet of the apes
The media has everyone acting a fool, acting like trained apes. They are being manipulated only because they are convinced they are broken and all these products and programs are the answer. They don’t offer you help they offer you solutions that do give you a perceived cure, a temporary relief from your troubles, but then predictably the problems resurface or new ones come to be.
This trance is perpetual only because you believe you are chasing solutions but realistically you’re chasing your proverbial tail. You must break out of the trance to become aware of “the real world” around you. Once you wake up you will see commercials in a whole new light! Once awakened to your core self, not some ideal someone else has of who you are or how the world should look- then you start to feel free, you start to feel confident and without the desire to put the mask on, which at first is hard, it’s like quitting smoking, your body, and mind must adjust to the new climate- then you are not affected by these things. When I woke up from this “dream world” I found myself in I was disgusted by the commercials, the nerve of them to tell me who I was, they became less vibrant, but the real world became so much more vibrant, so real, so much more in my control. Taking control of your life is essential to happiness and high self esteem.
The only true way out of the trance, the way to happiness, is to shed off that mask and become your core self, that person you were born to be, that person that due to your very unique nature, has a mission to stimulate the world in a very unique way that nobody else can do quite like you can. You can’t see this lot in life that is your destiny if you’re not being you. Think of it like a code that only you can break and only when your “ducks are in a row” much like the tumblers in a lock must line up to the right position before the key will turn the lock. When you’re not being you you’re trying to open the door with the wrong key.
The marketers, the false hopes, the trance cannot reach you if you’re being your core self because your reality is completely unique and based on something nobody can touch. When you do line up the tumblers and the key does turn, the world is a whole different place. The world itself is exactly the same but YOU become a whole different vehicle driving through it. How things affect you, how you react, if you react, when you react, what things mean to you, your very perception are different! It’s not that you are different either, thus everyone sees the same person, but how they react to you, how they feel around you, how you feel around them will drastically improve.
Self esteem is not the key, it’s the tangible result of turning it. Confidence is not the key either, it’s a spawn of high self esteem! The key is being your core, being YOU, no pretending, no sugar coating, no giving up who you are for other people. It’s the identity that is and always has and will be who you really are. Get to know that person because when your truly alone free from any distractions, that’s who you are. This key however can always be turned the other way, pulled out of the lock and thus you can always return to who you were before you reconnected. Granted, when you turn it and see that other side, it changes how vulnerable you are to returning 100% to the other person you didn’t like being.
This key can also be turned full circle the other direction and instead of unlocking your true self, it can lock it in, for when you wear a mask you are in the locked position. The proverbial key however is not separate from you, even when it’s out of the lock, it’s there hiding, by choice or by lack of choice. You can feel the key going in notch by notch as you start to slip back to the dark side of self esteem, and the lock turning from unlocked to locked again is painful enough to help you not return, but keep in mind if you start worshiping those false gods, giving yourself back to the falsehood of who you are, building a mask out of fear, you will return. When I made my self esteem CD I had been to both sides. I had been to the unlock then over years slipped back part way, I made this CD to keep my internal dialogue centered, and listen to it as a sleep aid at night (without headphones) and it keeps me tuned up. You can do other things as well such as have a list of the affirmations handy when you think your slipping and read them. You will know which ones your not living up to, i.e. judging others, judging yourself, and so on.
Unlocking your core self is much more than simply gaining awareness of the world around you, which is defined by the world within you. It unlocks everything from your true charisma, to your ambitions, your ability to do what you were born to do, and be what you were born to be. Your external world is a mirror into your own soul. That mirror works like this. When you see something, feel something or use any of your 5 senses, you are filtering them through your perceptions and that data is purely reminiscent of your current view of yourself.
Put another way, what you see is how you see yourself. You get angry at others because somewhere inside you you see something you don’t like and they are bringing it to surface (it may not even be WHAT you see but HOW what you see makes you feel, like a dream reminding you of something in your life, a symbol of the real information your processing).
If your overweight and you see overweight people you may feel disgust, not because they are bad, but because you may be tired of being overweight. Angry people who get mad irrationally are often not bad people, they don’t even mean to be “that guy” but rather are so lost, often with low self esteem, that everything they see around them reminds them of something they hate about themselves. These people will often find themselves being negative all the time for that reasons and can’t understand others being so negative to them. They see justification in their actions but don’t realize they are victims of their own internal dialogue. They react instead of act, they don’t think before they react and so on.
By virtue of your uniqueness, your every movement in life causes reactions that can only be caused by you, however if your not being your true self, if your living a lie, you will know it because you will never quite feel right, you will never quite be happy, fulfilled, or complete. You will sense that there is more to life but you can’t quite figure out how to get to it. You will feel like your wearing clothes that don’t fit you so to speak- and you are.
The answer to everything is in unlocking your true self, your self esteem, your confidence, your ability to simply be you. Once you reach this stage, you cannot be swayed or tricked easily, and you feel an extraordinary weight lift off your shoulders, that all along was put there- By you! It did take you years to get where you are, and to unearth your true self will take some time, how long is dependant on how open minded you are to change.
Everything you do, from reading self help books, to watching shows like “The Secret” or “What the Bleep Do We Know?” to counseling and more- are just tools that all lead down to the same road- Your internal dialogue- how you talk to yourself and what script you use to fuel your actions (caused by reactions). Many things we use like books are more so to understand how we got into this mess so we can at least see the path out, but once you do then it’s your internal dialogue that becomes the vehicle for change!
Once you change the way you think, the way you talk both to yourself and others, the way you perceive life, your half way there. The second half which you can only get to if you change the first half, is taking personal responsibility for everything in your life.
Personal Responsibility For YOUR Life
Everything that happens or happened to you was the result of some choice you made, some action you took, some action or choice you didn’t take or make. If you don’t take responsibility you will continue to see life through the wrong glasses.
Part of the journey is in taking full responsibility for your life, for everything that has ever happened to you. In realizing that you are in full control of your life, nobody else, no external circumstances, no external anything, just you, you will realize how much you have caused everything to be in your life. If you don’t take this responsibility you will be blinded by lack of awareness, for if you don’t take responsibility you won’t see things in the right light, and will continue to see the world through colored glasses. You also will not be able to control the ride, a ride you started by many choices you made that set everything into motion. Responsibility is like saying I’m the driver, and if you’re not the driver, you’re a passenger- IN YOUR OWN LIFE.
The Accelerated Method For Healing:
TranQuil-Wiser
I know it’s easy to read all this and even understand that it is actually very simple to comprehend, but in actual practice, the work part can be discouraging because there are no instant results to motivate you. But there is a way to speed up the process and it comes with a built in instant reward process that will keep you going. I call this process TranQuil-Wiser. First you feel tranquil, relaxed, liberated from your day and active thought stream.
You reach a trance state where tranquility is the carrier signal to clarity of thought. Once there the “wiser” process kicks in and gives you the tools to chip away those filters to expose the amazing insights that will take this to the next level. The reward will be awareness that will shock you, and put an aha moment in place of the stress and confusion you normally feel.
I’ve developed a way to help you reach this point, to reprogram your internal dialogue in ways that unlock awareness, and allow you to see the world through your own eyes. This is a tool that can help accelerate your progress by helping you jump into the engine room of your self talk, your subconscious mind, to give you insight into your own source code so YOU can change it.
What I’ve developed is a musical track that both distracts your conscious mind and entertains it, causes your brain to release dopamine, endorphins, and other natural chemicals that you experience when your fully confident and happy using subliminal affirmations, subliminal music (the actual music is designed to make you feel emotions to make it easier to reach your subconscious information!), and more. This “feeling” as well as the experience itself will act as a proxy reward system until you start to open up and see the amazing core of who you are. From there you will start to feel a new reward system that will keep you going long after you stop listening to the track. The bonus is that if you continue to listen you will double your rewards… Many use this as a meditation CD as well as healing to keep them on track (I use mine actually still to this day and I feel 100% me).
There is also a technology built in that I call Dynatmosphere™ because it allows your mind to hear a different track each time you listen, all the while bringing you into alignment with a hypnotic state of mind that allows you to integrate subliminal affirmations that, over time, will make you fully aware of yourself. Once you reach your core self you will want to continue to monitor your thoughts, because it’s not that hard to slip back into the old state. Luckily this track will last a life time!
The affirmations on the track both audible and subliminal in some tracks, don’t tell you who you are, how to think, or give you a direct path out. They work like a powerful quote you hear that makes you think about things in a new light. An example by Eleanor Roosevelt that says “Nobody can make you feel anything without your consent” (this isn’t an affirmation but this is the type of affirmation content I use) comes close to explaining how it works. It can also be seen as a teacher asking you a question and the answer brings you your enlightenment, but also nudges you to think in a new direction.
These don’t tell you how to think, the affirmations and music simply help steer your mind internally, showing you the road back to your internal source code. They suggest things to your internal dialogue/subconscious mind, and give you another way to see your life.
Once you experience these insights it will be successful results that will help YOU change your dialogue permanently, acting as a defense shield against low self esteem. The power here is that you are given a choice, but the music helps you to see the other side that you may not be able to get in front of naturally because of the bad filters (things like thinking automatically “what if she doesn’t like me?” that make you nervous before you even try and kill your confidence which gives you little chance of even approaching her! The insights will happen both in your dreams, in waking life, and in your thoughts. Eventually they will become a Constance and you will feel liberated from your shell, your mask, your fear.
Our “Incredible Self-Esteem and Powerful Self-Confidence” track is much more than just music and subliminals, it is a powerful technological breakthrough that will help you, not do it for you, but help you to unearth your core self and bring your core reality to the surface, dissolving everything you believe that is inconsistent with your core truth.
Over time you will start to have small victories, small awareness shifts where you will discover hallmarks of your trance. AHA! Moments will be something you look forward to. You will start to discover things that will give you a new rung on your ladder out of the mask and up to the surface of your real life.
As you listen and relax, your imagination, your dreams will take you through the awareness that has always been there but was blocked using metaphors based on your own language- how you see the world. Once you do this, you will do much like a dream interpretation, and decode the messages in the dreams you had during your journey through our music and your own mind! It’s like dream therapy but more interactive and purposeful. The first listen will be intriguing, and you may just ride… The music is powerfully uplifting and liberating, a trance is inevitable. But as you listen more and more each session you start to peel back the layers of your mind, revealing the filters in an environment where they cannot hide behind the conscious mind and fear, where you can see symbolically, like you do in dreams, what is blocking you from being yourself.
Our music and affirmations will take you into that seemingly hidden side of your self, and every day you will start to see things in a new way, a more clear way, the way it really is not the way you’ve been lead to believe it is. It is not an instantaneous process but in time you will unlock your self esteem, and truly find yourself.
You must get out in the world and interact as well as listening to this CD however, as it will be you and your interaction with life that will alleviate your spell. I’m sure you’ve heard that meditation is not only a necessary part of happiness, but it is incredibly rewarding and healthy. This CD will fulfill your “meditation credits” (to borrow a college term), and give you a luxurious way to relax and give yourself a much deserved break.
Click here to learn more about our Incredible Self-Esteem and Powerful Self-Confidence” Track and hear a clip of the ambiance used.
(Coming soon)
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